Bruce the Blog

It’s a stretch to compare a mugger with the type of able-bodied motorist who thinks nothing of pulling into a parking space clearly designated only for drivers with disabled parking permits. Or is it?

Muggers and disabled-permit violators share some obvious traits: 1) desperate; 2) morally bankrupt; 3) crazy lazy; 4) weak in thought and deed; 5) insensitive; 6) self-absorbed; 7) disregard the law; need counseling; 9) need to perform community service; 10) need to gratify themselves through illegitimate actions.

It’s somehow satisfying that I keep encountering more people who, like me, are repelled by parking space muggers and some even will mouthe off to the violators. It would be a better world in this particular way if more people called out the non-diasbled who selfishly plant their vehicles — even if for a minute — in a spot they don’t need.

I’m not advocating that anybody put themselves in harm’s way by poking a finger in the chest of a lineman-size driver who emerges from a car misparked in a handicap spot. But those of us who don’t let people like that get away with their shenaningns find various ways to duly shame the culprits into at least perhaps thinking twice about making the same move next time:

1) “Boy, you sure move around well for somebody who needs to park in a disabled spot.”

2) “Hey, can you tell me where I go to get one of those parking permits that I don’t need either.”

3) Pull up in back of the person’s car and say, “I’ll be out of your way in a minute. I just need to write down your plate number to give to the police.”

4) “Can you sign a petition for the town to add disabled parking spots since they seem to be in short supply thanks to people like you who abuse them?”

5) “Excuse me, you might know the answer to my question: How much is the fine when you get a summons for illegally parking in a handicapped space?”

6) But the most appropriate salutation with which to greet these jokers is: “Be thankful you don’t qualify for a handicap permit.”

I was sitting with some people the other night talking about just this phenomenon — or outrage — and sure enough a couple days later witnessed a very healthy-walking middle-age woman exit Circuit City in Cortlandt and get in to her luxury car parked alongside the entrance in a handicap spot.

I didn’t bother to check if she had a permit, but even that is not proof of need. It’s not only non-permit-holders who slink their way in to the spots that need to be chastised publicly; it’s people who use a family member’s permit to cop a space they don’t need. Look around you: gee, you think society at large needs more excuses not to get routine exercise like walking a few more steps from a space that’s not right next to a store entrance?

They also could hold a Lazy Persons Convention in the parking lot of the Yorktown Post Office, where it’s not unusual to see people who get around with no problem at all pull into the handicap spot. Who can blame them, with the next available space at least five or six feet to the left. It’s an obvious hardship to have to trudge on hard pavement for that distance, especially when the weather is 60 degrees and sunny.

I’ve been known to heatedly double back towards the car, point emphatically to the handicap sign and shout, “Where’s your permit?!” Some people sheepishly look at you and drive away. Some understandably get defensive and respond as if they are in the right and you are wrong.

“Who are you?” the perpetrator might ask. “Oh,” I muse, “just some crazy person who thinks disabled spaces actually are meant only for those who truly need them to compensate for a compromised quality of life. I don’t know what got into me. Please don’t report me to the authorities.” Usually, they don’t.